Federal Budget 2017: What does small business REALLY want?

The 2017 Federal Budget is ready to drop, which kind of makes it sound like a really cool new album.

Recent research suggests that small business would perhaps prefer this to be the case, with an MYOB survey revealing that almost half of Australian small businesses aren’t confident the Budget will bring positive outcomes for them.

This, my friends, is a sad state of affairs.

So to ease trepidation and lift the monetary mood, let’s lay down a wish-list of what small business owners really want from this year’s Budget and let’s do our darnedest to make this baby fly!

1. Give us government-sanctioned debt collectors

So many people don’t pay their invoices on time and when cash flow is important, debt collecting can be agony.

So give us a squad of goons to get out there and collect our cash!

2. Give us a task force that actually accomplishes tasks

Remember when last year’s Budget gave the ATO a bajillionty dollars to crack down on tax avoidance by multinationals, private companies and high-wealth individuals? STILL WAITING.

3. Give us the $20,000 instant asset write-off as a permanent Budget fixture

Being able to instantly write off a sweet 20K for a business-critical purchase can make a big difference for a small business otherwise sitting on the fence about a major money decision.

How else are we supposed to buy those mechanical bulls and vibrating massage chairs for the office?

4. Give us less red tape

Seriously: we’ve already got compliance coming out the wah-zoo. Can’t we use the Business Portal for something fun for once, like teleportation to Officeworks to spend that 20K?

5. Give us less company tax

We know this is like asking North Korea to give less nuclear shenanigans but still, we had to ask.

6. Give us high-speed internet

No, it’s not for better games of Candy Crush or faster explorations of the “people you might know” option on Facebook.

Online presence and function is vital to small business and the quicker we can go about our work, the better.

7. Give us subsidies for employing young Australians

Ever heard the line “I believe that children are our future?”

That’s Whitney Houston, and if she were alive today I’d bet my last PAYG instalment that her biggest concern would be for more employment opportunities for young people.

OK, that’s completely unlikely, but the fact remains that young jobseekers and small business owners seeking to expand their workforce and operation are a match made in heaven.

8. Give us larger deductions for work-related entertainment

You know what we’re talking about: unlimited office parties, Who Weekly subscriptions to pad out every lunch break, weekly live appearances from John Farnham singing You’re The Voice just as a bit of an office rev-up.

Seriously.

Our businesses need this stuff to boost morale.

9. Give us a pork barrel

Finally, remember the days of pork barrelling? When pollies would get out and win their constituents over with an actual pork barrel?

Well, we want our pork cooked low and slow for about eight hours, we want it served with apple sauce (not from a jar!) and god help anyone who steals our crackling.

So, that’s the small business 2017 budget wish-list done and dusted.

Now to count down to 9 May to see what we can tick off…

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